Footnote vs. Headline

 Jasper Speaks:

Finding what God has for me is a struggle. I have spent several years trying to control my life. I now realize I cannot do that. My need for control was subtle. Mostly it was in the intent behind my prayers. I would pray, "If it is your will" while thinking "Make this happen because it is my will". Somehow, I wondered why there was such disappointment in my life. Control. Janet Jackson sang about it. The world tells us we need it. Jesus says, sit back and let me have it.

Some things in my life have caused me great pain. Sometimes I do not understand my "thorn in the flesh" and why God chose to give my specific issue to me. But in talking with my counselor yesterday, I had a bit of an epiphany. The enemy wants to make my thorn in the flesh the headline of my life while God tells me it is merely a footnote. 

Even in dealing with this issue and how it is used in my life, I have been seeking control. When I do that, I give the enemy a seat at my table. I hear say things like, "This is who you are" and "Just give in, it will be easier". But I realize that when I hand the reins over to Jesus, He says, "I am the place where you find your identity" and hold steadfast, it is only a footnote, not a headline."

So, yes, I still have a carnal desire for control, but Jesus is helping me better understand the fact that only He controls what happens. If I lean into Him, he will direct me to where I need to go. If I am honest in my prayers, He will gladly take my life and let it be used by Him. In His way. In His time.

Jasper Speaks:

Sadly, not much has changed since I originally posted this about five years ago. If anything, they may be worse, but I have not find words that would express my feelings better than this:

Over Christmas break my family piled into our minivan and spent some time with our dear friends the Wrights in the Christian Las Vegas (yes, Branson, MO). The highlight of the trip was certainly being with friends in such a faith friendly environment at this time of the year. Branson is not in and of itself a booming bastion of excitement the week before Christmas. A lot of attractions are closed and people are waiting things out for the busy season to pick up again in the spring. We went to Silver Dollar City, drove through the lights at Shepherd of the Hills and went to Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede. It is at the latter where my observations for this post come.

Our son is all boy. He was excited to see all the horses as we walked up from the parking lot to the front doors. He was extra excited to get inside to the gift shop. He had $21 burning a hole in his pocket and couldn't wait to spend it.

We walked around the gift shop for quite awhile before the show. He looked at many things that are basically put out to take advantage of weary parents at the end of the show. There were cowboy hats, stuffed horses, and sheriff's badges aplenty. As I have mentioned he is all boy so he was continually drawn to the guns. Visions of the Old West danced through our minds as he chose the perfect gun and holster to fit our budget.

He proudly took his prize to the cashier and happily handed over his bounty of saved up money. It took just over 18 of his 21 dollars but his eyes grew large as the cashier handed the items back to him. He immediately asked me to take the gun and holster out of its packaging. I obliged cheerfully. He began pointing the silver gun around the room and shooting imaginary bad guys all around us.

Suddenly, I got a fearful buzz in my stomach. I took him by the hand and had him look me in the eye and I said, "Whatever you do, don't take that orange piece of the barrel off the gun!" I did not want anyone to mistake it for the real thing.

Another moment passed and I stopped him again. This time the warning was to never go outside of the house with the gun. It was a toy but I feared for his safety.

As he continued to play and we settled in for the show (and copious amounts of food that come with it) I could not help but be a bit distracted. Would I have needed to have this talk with my son if he was a white child?  Being a white man myself, the dangers of a toy gun had never before crossed my mind.

I was sad as I thought of the world in which we live. My son is inheriting a world where people who look like him are gunned down for some things as benign as having a toy in their hands. It was becoming clear to me that my adopted son (who is as much my son as if we shared DNA) would live a different life than I have lived. He will be followed around suspiciously in some stores. He will be pulled over in some neighborhoods. He will be refused some freedom to have fun. All of these things will occur because of something he cannot change --- His skin color.

My Daddy's heart broke a little as the reality of the world my son will inherit overtook me. A father should not have to quarantine a toy to the house out of fear of someone hurting my child. I should not have to teach my son to be extra careful around law enforcement officers. When I was a kid, Officer Friendly came to our grade school once a year. It hurts to have to teach my son that as a black man in America, officers may not be friendly toward him at all.

I support our police officers. I respect the way they put their lives in danger for us every day. I believe 100% that there are more good police officers than bad. I know many of these dedicated men and women and they are among the most honest and understanding people in my life. The reality is however, there is a different standard that my son will have to live up to that I don't.

Because of those differences, I have to be the responsible parent and make sure the gun stays in my home. It is a toy. I had a bunch just like it as a kid. I could freely spend hours in the backyard with the pistol in my hand taking down the dangerous people who, in my imagination, were a threat to my home. I never had to give a thought to the possibility of someone thinking that my toy was real much less that I was a danger to anyone else. I pray that my son can play as freely but the realist in me understands that he may never have that freedom.

The news is filled with the morose stories of young black men being gunned down. For some there is certainly debatable evidence that shows the officers were acting in a proper manner. In other instances, there was a shoot first mentality. Because I cannot be sure in which situation my son may find himself, sadly, I must err on the side of caution. The gun will not ever go out my front door.

That night, as I heard performers sing about peace on earth, I didn't have peace on the inside. Being an interracial family comes with challenges. I knew that when we signed up to the blessing of being our son's parents. Every day I am praying that the racial tensions in our world will die away before my son is an adult. I pray that we can finally come to a place where we are judged on the content of our character. I pray that I will live to see this happen but more so, I pray that my son will live in a world that sees him  as a black man with a story that is encompassed in his past but, treat him as a man that deserves respect and justice. That is a world I am willing to fight to see.

Training In Missions

One thing that has been a constant in my work with missionaries, is the comment that most mission teams come to them severely under prepared. It seems that many churches and other groups, pick a date, plan the transportation and then leave the rest up to the missionary. This brings unneeded burdens on already overworked servants of God. Below are some reasons why training is vitally important in short-term missions:

Training Prepares A Team For The Task At Hand

This may be the primary reason for training mission teams. As an employer you would not throw an employee into their job without proper training, so short-term missionaries need to be trained in their job as well. People will rise up to the expectations you make for them and training begins the conversation regarding what measurement tools will be used to measure success.

Before a team goes to serve they need to understand the biblical basis of missions. You need to talk about what God's Word says are the reasons for telling the world about Jesus. This doesn't start or end with the Great Commission. It begins in Genesis and goes all the way through Revelation. A team that understands God's purpose for missions will start to have his heartbeat for the world as well. This knowledge will help them prepare by understanding God's big plan for the nations.

A team also needs to know what is unique about your church's mission strategy. Does your church specialize certain type of partnership? What is the vision of your missions involvement? What are your goals? Helping people understand this before someone goes on mission helps them to understand why they are approaching the trip from a certain perspective and prepares their mind for having the end goal in their sights.

A team also needs to know as much about the area that they will serve as possible. Why is it important that a mission team go to this particular area? What is God doing? What are the needs? This prepares team members to understand the spiritual and cultural climate of where they will serve.

Team members need to be prepared to share their story and the story of Christ. Many Christians have never constructed his or her testimony, They may feel that their story is not dynamic. In this training, the leader has an opportunity to disciple. A leader can help team members realize that the power of their story is that Jesus has redeemed them. Everyone's path to salvation is different and they need to see that their story has power.

Also, in this time, a team needs to understand how to have spiritual conversations. Those conversations may begin with them sharing their story but more realistically these conversations will come more organically. Team members need to be prepared to know how to start conversations and maybe even more importantly, when to end those conversations. This prepares them to better understand the sensitivity needed to approach the hearts of people with whom God is already at work to draw to him. If they say too little or too much, they may be impeding the Spirit's work.

The team needs to be prepared to commune with God. Training them to listen for God's voice and to take time to spend with him before, during and after the trip is paramount. The success of the trip literally could come from these daily communications. This prepares the team's heart for God working in and through them while they serve as well as before and after the trip.

Cultures differ around the world. Even different parts of the United States have vastly different cultures. It is important to discuss how cultures differ and specifically talk about the culture of the area a team will serve. This prepares the team for differences and helps them to keep from making assumptions about people based on ignorance of the cultural differences of the area where they are serving.

Trip specific training is vital. It will only help your team and the people you are serving if you come into the trip ready to go. What is the platform of your trip? What supplies might you need to achieve the goals the missionary has for the trip? What gifts and abilities lie in your team that can be used to achieve the goals of the trip?

Never go on a trip expecting missionaries to have all the supplies you need. If you are doing children's ministry ask if it is evangelistic or educational. Then your team needs to plan, in conjunction with the missionary, how that will look. Do you need to prepare a mini vacation Bible school format? Do you need to find ESL materials? If you are doing leadership development what resources will you need? What are the construction needs? Asking good questions and then preparing to work in the bounds of the answers you receive will prepare your team to be successful without being a burden to the missionaries. Do not rely on the mission to put a program together for you. Find the needs and the vision of your work and then prepare your team to hit the ground running in executing that vision. Missionaries will appreciate not having to supply your needs or create a program for your team to execute.

That may seem like a lot, but I believe all of these things are necessary to have a fully prepared team. Our preparation helps to glorify God as we try to make him famous in the world.

Training Blesses The Missionary

Missionaries work hard. The work that they do doesn't always show fruit. They are often separated from extended family, living in cultures that are unfamiliar. They can get discouraged. They are not spiritual superheroes but are men and women serving Jesus through the call they have committed to live out. 

Having to train and prepare all the details of a team's trip is more than a missionary needs to take on. Most often they will do it because they love Jesus and they want to advance the work that God is doing in their area. However, when we depend on the missionary to work out all the on site details, we most often are hindering the work they are doing. This planning takes them away from the regular ministry in their areas. A well prepared team will bless and encourage the missionary. The partnership between a church ministry and a missionary should always keep the well being of missionary and their families in the forefront of vision of the partnership.

Training Brings God Glory

When a team is well trained and ready to go, there is a greater chance to avoid things that may distract from making God famous in the area where the team will serve. A well trained team understands why they are going, what they will do and how it will be done. This becomes a testimony  of faithfulness to the missionary and the people of their community. When we are prepared for our mission endeavors, that preparation shows through and God works in mighty ways as a result. 

There is an old Hymn that says, "Give of your best to the Master", training helps teams to give their very best. A good leader owes their missionary, their team and our God the very best and training will help to make that possible. 

If you need help in developing mission team training feel free to reach out to me at jasperrains2911@yahoo.com and I will do all I can to help you be successful.

Jasper Speaks:

After our devastating failed international adoption, I took a long break from blogging. Things were hard. They were very hard. I went through a time of severe depression. After seeking help from my doctor and a wonderful counselor, I am well on the road to recovery.

I accepted a new ministry position in July of 2017. I am now the Missions Pastor at Grace Pointe Church in Naperville, Illinois. It is challenging and rewarding. I will take several trips throughout the year and recruit and train for all mission trips with our six international partnerships.

Our next trip is in March and our son is coming with my wife and I to Siem Reap Cambodia. I am excited to do this second international mission trip (the first was to Spain in 2016) as a family. You can link from the widget above to find out more about helping our son get there.

We apologize for not updating this site in such a long time. Life has been difficult for us over the past six weeks. As the situation continued to change in Uganda and our agency continued to frustrate us, we were faced with difficult decisions. In the end, the agency asked us to do some things that we felt were questionable as far as being in the best interest of the child with whom we were placed and for our family. We sought the counsel of our pastor and adoption professionals to help us sift through the matter.
On Tuesday, September 13, we made the final and difficult decision to end our relationship with our agency and with our pursuit of adoption in Uganda. We have prayed, cried and discussed this decision at great length. We have taken time as a family to process through the difficult emotions. Our lives have been on hold for nearly three years as we hoped and waited in good faith for this adoption to be completed to no avail. We understand that God closes doors and sometimes that can hurt deeply. However, there have been instances along the way in this journey where we have questioned God only to look back later and thank Him for His protection of our hearts.
We are not sure what our next step will be. We do not feel we are done with this adoption journey. We did lose a large sum of money by leaving our agency post-placement. However, the graciousness of God has left us with enough money to be well on our way to beginning a new adoption. However, we feel we need time to exhale from this difficult experience before moving forward.
We are doing very well. We have had time to privately grieve this devastating loss. We have told anyone who has asked what the outcome has become but needed to wait to "go public" with this announcement until we had officially contacted our agency. At this point we have had no acknowledgement of the letter although tracking shows that the letter was received on Thursday of last week at noon.
How can you help us now? First of all, we know you all love us and that is amazing. Please DO NOT look on us in pity. We have dealt with the sadness and having those who love and care for us reopen those hurts by innocently trying to empathize is something we would rather avoid. Second, please pray for our continued peace. Pray also that the agency would acknowledge the ending of our relationship so that we can feel the full freedom of no longer being associated with them. Pray also that we would hear and obey the Lord as He leads us to what we need to do to be in his will with our next steps.
Over the next few months, our family will be spending some time together away from home. We have had to hold off any of this time because we did not know how long we would be in country. This time away will help us to recharge and reset. Honestly, there is some relief in the freedom this process ending has brought. Please pray that we would have safe travels and that God would continue to heal us during this time.
Thank you all for loving us and supporting us over these last three years. The journey is not over. God promises that it is He has begun this work and He will be faithful to complete it.
Finally, feel free to share this news with whomever you wish. It will be easier for us to move on if we do not have to share this story time and time again.
Trusting Jesus,

Thanks for the prayers. The call was, as it always seems to be, not all that informative. Originally we were going to be traveling in September but because of a commitment I made for early October, we will not be leaving until at least right after that. This is really hard and with the law changes we are kind of blindly trusting that things will work out. We know God has given us this opportunity. Still it is difficult to be positive when there are so many uncertainties. Thank you all for your prayers. Please keep them coming.

There is not much in the way of updates. We do have a conversation with our agency tomorrow morning. Please pray that it will help us get this moving along. Thanks. #Rains2Uganda